Sludge's Evil Ex's
by sludge
Summary: The first in the spin off from the angel and hollie series
1. Chapter 1  Blackcurrent and Lemonade

Hello and welcome to the TV game show sludge's evil exes, with our fabulously amazing host (and that's not bias by the way) sludge!

''hey there guys welcome to sludge's evil exes, the game show in which the competitor tries to defeat my 7 evil exes to win the ultimate prize – an all you can eat buffet with **everything**!''

''today's contestant is trying to free me of my exes so that I can get the hell out of here and meet all of his mates (not to mention the guys there that sound real cute)anyway... That's beside the point so lets give a warm welcome for my brother nudge!''

''So lets jump right on and get started, say hello to spite''

From backstage appeared a white cat, making a stylish entrance, he had deep purple eyes and wore a long red coat, white shirt and loose hanging tie, his trousers were kind of baggy and he had red trainers. His hair was spiked out with a long plat at the back. So lets find out how this all started ~

I met sprite back when I was 14 and he was the coolest kid in school, I remember sitting in the cafeteria with my best friend billie, we were discussing the upcoming prom but I wasn't paying much attention because really I was secretly admiring sprite from across the hall, he started casually walking towards our table and next thing you know... Boom! I got me a prom date. Unfortunately when the prom actually came he spilt black current all over my favourite dress and decided to laugh about it. Bad move love! I dumped him and hung around with Billie for the rest of the night, while he watched in jealousy. That was the night he became my first evil ex

So there you have it now being as this is nudges first battle you may pick your weapon first

I'm gonna have... The lemonade please

O k

And begin...


	2. Chapter 2  Duck, Duck, Goose

**A/N **

**Ok so time for the big fight scene and just in case you're wondering this scene is being commentated by our own host Sludge! **

* * *

><p>So here we go right in with the whirling, swirling and tasty delicious twirling ice cream... oh is this thing still on hehe ^^'' sorry<p>

So anyway we're jumping right in here with the first move being craftily manoeuvred by sprite, (god he looks hot) I mean... uh a good dodge to the left their by nudge! And the fists are a flying one after the other left, right, left, left, right, jump, duck, duck, duck, duck, and goose!

And all this diving is making me dizzy I'm just gonna have a lie down, over to nudge! -

''Hey there guys nudge here, commentating so all this ducking and diving has fizzed up the lemonade perfectly and now for a well executed and very graceful not to mention handsome! ATTACK OF THE FIZZ!

He releases the cap and pooh sprite is down! I don't think he'll be drinking lemonade any time soon!''

Heyy there guys sludge here back from her nap well it looks like a good win for nudge, well done bro!

Lets meet our next ex shall we, introducing ... JUDAS!

(Judas, juda-as, juda-as, juda-judas, judas, gaga) Walking out casually to the totally ironic entrance music appears a blue Mobius with red hair spiked out at the front in two directions, wearing a casual black and red hoodie that set off his spiked bracelets perfectly, and make an excellent match to go with his red and black studded belt and skull buckle.

''Hey, hey all you awesome dudes! Here's my chance to win back the love of my life and I'm not gonna let some pink guinea pig freak get the way of that sweet ass!''

-All of a sudden a foot goes flying towards Judas from the right

*SMACK!*

Don't talk about my brother like that! Sorry nudge guess you'll have to skip this one I just couldn't help myself ^^''

''Don't worry sis, hey was he always like this?''

Well...


	3. Chapter 3 The awsome, The evil, The cute

**A/N **

**So u guys are about to find out how sludge met judas and let me tell you**

**Pony: Yo! Sludge zip it!**

* * *

><p>It was a while back now, the day before my 15th birthday, I was at the latest Lady Gaga concert with my best ate Billie, we were raving to Judas (typical) and singing along to the chorus, when this guys comes up to us, and he is totally hot. after the song we get talking he introduces himself and turns out he's been eyeing me up the whole time but wanted to wait for the perfect song to come over (how ironic), We kept in touch and spent loads of time together, going to concerts, taking long walks, we did everything together and well... I fell in love, for the first time and our relationship quickly began to get serious, but it wasn't until after his 16th birthday that he asked me to marry him! It was so romantic and I accepted immediately, it was all going so well, until he told me his big secret... he was a jahovis witness!<p>

I couldn't believe it, the man of my dreams, not so dreamy. I eventually decided that maybe I could live with this as long as he didn't push his religion on me but it wasn't to be because that's exactly what happened, he tried to use the power of religion to get me to go to church and ceremonies and in the end I just couldn't take it so I ended the relationship a month before the wedding, and he became my second evil ex... no longer a follower of god but in fact quite the opposite, a Satanist!

''woah, sis'' ''you went out with a jahovis witness'' ''that's... HILARIOUS!'

*frowns*

Thanks for the support bro

Anyway... moving on I guess I better introduce my next ex... (Lights go down)

Ladies and gentlemen, people of all ages, It's my honour to present to you, winner of 5 single pancake flipping award and my ex partner in baking, the awesome, the evil, the cute, the one and only... DEXTER!

Dexter is a world famous cook known for his beautiful, fresh, pancakes that bring customers from as far away as Australia, but it wasn't always like this me and Dexter where once partners (in more than one way.

It all started about half a year after my break up with Judas, I was at a muffin baking contest after taking a liking to cooking and inventing a killer recipe that was approved by ALL my friends without a single flaw. But there was one ingredient I hadn't taken account for... and that was Dexter he was there with his blueberry muffins and they were drawing a LOT of attention, turns out he had a reputation for making delicious food and his muffins were no exception, I had to really up my game. So I decided to add to my recipe, and instead of making choc chip muffins I created... the DOUBLE CHOC CHIP MUFFIN WITH TWO TYPES OF CHOCOLATE!

After I beat him in the contest he approached me and congratulated me on the win, wanted to know where I got my inspiration, of course I just said that I know a good choco combination when I think of one, not to mention the fact that I LOVE CHOCOLATE! And then we hit it off, here we go again!

We opened up a bakery which was wonderful and we got rich... QUICK! But the fame and fortune soon got to his head; I should have seen it coming really. He became a player, changed his style from cool and casual to total player. At first I didn't mind, he flirted with the ladies who came to our bakery but he never took it beyond that, he stayed loyal to me, or so I thought.

One night I came home to find him in bed with someone else, only thing is ... it wasn't a woman!

So there you have it from straight and talented to gay player. We split up and he turned to making pancakes and selling them... using MY recipe, truly evil...

''you can really pick em' can't you sis?''

I could say the same about your weapon choice ... bro

''-_-''

Speaking of... it's time to choose your weapons, and it looks like Dexter's going first with the choice of a frying pan! Your turn nudge

'' I'm ok, I'm take this guy out with my own two hands''

Ok then, BEGIN!

Nudge goes in with the first punch, and it's an uppercut, but oh! He missed by an inch, now in goes Dexter with a swing to the back of the head, and he misses! But that just makes it easier for a smack right to the asscheek and that's gonna hurt in the morning, yes I'm speaking in an ultra fast race horse sort of way and if I don't stop I'm gonna run outta... *breathes in*

Bbbbrrrreeeaaattthhhhh

Oh oh oh oh no he didn't! How did he do that! It looks like... A GIANT OVEN! And Dexter's trying to cook nudge! Wait a sec what's this? :O

Nudge has kicked his way out of the oven and delivering numerous blows to Dexter, a left, a right, a repeat of chapter 1's commentation.

A final blow to the stomach and he's down! Dexter has been defeated! Well done nudge, and with that we go to the first of two commercial breaks, we'll be back shortly ;)

*during the commercial break* - so nudge, three down four to go hey

''you know sis, I was wondering why you decide to date all these guys in the first place, why not just give up after the first two?''

Nudge, if everyone always gave up when they failed then nothing would ever happen. One day I reckon I'll find a guy who won't turn evil on me and that'll be worth all the hardships. Now you'd better get back on stage we're on in 30 seconds.


	4. Chapter 4  The one known as Sebastian!

Hello and welcome back to Sludge's Evil ex's with your host ... SLUDGE!

Ok guys so before the break we saw my brother Nudge beat my third evil ex, Dexter! But it's not over yet because he still has 4 more to beat and the next ex is gonna be a tough one. Known for his appearance in famous anime series Black Butler, I have the extreme most pleasure to introduce... SEBASTIAN

*the crowd fell silent, a small gasp could be heard from the ladies but everyone was speechless, because from back stage appeared a Mobius, in a 3 piece black suit and white gloves. He stood tall and confident, his hair draped gracefully in front of his face, he was gorgeous, mesmerising. He was the one known as... Sebastian!*

Uhhh guys, guys, GUYS! Pay attention!

Thank you now could you all focus please, GOD you guys are just like everyone else, have some self control!

GOD!

* * *

><p>It was the same the first time he came to England from Japan; you see I first ran into Sebastian during my first week at university. I was on my way to Art class or so I thought... when I ran into him and knocked him onto the floor as I was speeding round the corner, of course everybody saw this (coz no one could keep their eyes off him) and rushed over to him to see if he was ok, I mean seriously, event the teachers and emos were checking if he was ok, and the slag's were all over him, but surprisingly he pushed past them all with the wave of a hand, whereas I'd been pushed over again in all the hustle, and he helped me up off the floor asking me if I was ok. I just said no actually I'm late for art, the teacher's gonna kill me! Then I ran off<p>

GUYS, GUYS! PAY ATTENTION!

Uh what am I gonna do with you, anyway...

I bumped into him again the next week and we got talking, he apologized, for our previous encounter and we started dating... but once love was short lived, but not a moment too soon because he kept ripping all my good underwear and buying new pairs was costing me a fortune.

One night he invited me out to meet his parents, when I first met them I thought there was something unusual about them, but I carried on regardless when really I shouldn't have. His parents hated me! And it wasn't till after the dinner that I found out why. The silence was awkward and so I tried to make small talk... not a good idea coz his parents came back at me with,

''Sludge hunny did you know that you're dating the most ruthless underworld demon that's every existed and that we're actually descendants of the devil himself, not to mention the fact that you've now turned him into a googly eyed, love struck, wussy! Hope you're proud!''

Uh no actually I didn't... then I left, I broke up with him and he went back to being evil so...

FOR GOD SAKE GUYS PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER HE'S A DEMON AND WILL RIP YOUR EYES OUT!

'' I don't mind!''

Oi! You, guy in the red coat that looks like a homosexual grim reaper, SHUT IT! Now that that's settled lets move on shall we? Being as Sebastian already has demonic powers and the power of seduction Nudge, you get to choose two weapons. Choose wisely bro.

''ooh... chainsaw''

Uh, nudge please stop drooling on my shoes, I only bought them yesterday

''oh, sorry sis'' ^^''

Ok then so it's Nudge vs. Sebastian and ...GO!

There goes Sebastian and so that it's easier for me to commentate I'm gonna call him sebby for this one. So here goes sebby straight in with the laser eye cutter thingy... and nudge does a duck and roll but oh! Sebby caught the top of nudge's hair this doesn't look good ... for sebby that is, no one messes with the hair I should know (hehe)

... 4 and a half minutes of random fight scene later

And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright  
>It's alright<br>Bright lights and the big city belongs to us tonight  
>Tonight, tonight<br>oh sorry guys I got caught up in song... where were we? Oh right Yh

Woah nudge looks in a bad way

GO NUDGE!

*cough* sorry guys anyway...

Uh oh Sebastian's going in with his signature move! This is the end...


	5. Chapter 5 The Parents

**A/N first off I wanna say special sorry to Angel the neko and Phycho96 who have been waiting for me to upload for a while now, sorry for the delay guys! ENJOY**

Sludge: ok ok can we please get to the story now, man I HATE waiting

Me: shut up sludge

Angel: ha, yu gi oh abridged reference, ha

Sludge: -_- really guys, mature

Phycho96 and Sludge together: JUST GET ON WITH THE STORY

Sludge: DON'T MAKE ME GIVE AWAY THE SPOILERS!

Me: fine, fine, ok just chill

(Evil glares)

Uh oh Sebastian's going in with his signature move! This is the end...

''I THINK NOT!''

What, who the hell said that?

''I DID''

(Gasps) Dad? And... Mom?

PAUSE THE BATTLE!

What the hell are you guys doing back?

(Dad) ''hey, there mom and dad nice to see you guys too how was your holiday? That's good''

(Mom) ''oh shush Jeff'' ''anyway, me and your father have come back from France early, because we were watching the show and we heard that Sebastian was going to be here, and we knew that there was no way in hell that dear old Nudgey boy could handle that strapping hunk of gorgeous and therefore... here we are''

(Jeff) ''what Steve said!

(Steve) -_- don't use my first name Jeffrey

(Jeff) -_- Anyway... I wasn't going to resist the urge to come back here, not only to see my wonderful kids, but also to kick this son of the devil's ASS!'' ''you know I've always had a thing against donkey's but this guys just TAKES THE MICK! Not to mention the fact that he uses it in his signature move and would therefore save nudge's life, now where is he!''

Uh, dad he ran off at the plus part... hehe

(Jeff) '' oh... well then, we'll just take a seat shall we''

Yh dad that's cool  
>moving on! It looks like nudge has fluked his way out of another fight, which kinda reminds me of the time...<p>

Don't even go there sis! Or you're next!

Ok chill (sniggering)

Shall we meet our next contestant then guys! Please everyone put your legs together for Sophie!

Then from a wire above comes a white cat, with long dark blue hair and an emo fringe, parted from the left, with full eyelashes, and light blue mascara. She was wearing a short sleeve top (also dark blue) that came up just below her breasts and was tied in the middle like a guy trying to look gay. She had blue fingerless gloves that matched her three quarter jeans and trainers (this girl real liked the colour blue, it figures coz she looks emo :\ ) The only thing that wasn't blue was the guitar, which was black with patterns of, well... naked women drawn on it with what looked like a white permanent marker she was playing AC DC's highway to hell as she descended until she finally touched down on the floor.

I got to tell you guys, she wasn't always such a show off... really.

I met Sophie in my last year of uni, I was out with my mates, partying, like we did every Friday, except tonight was Billie's turn to pick, and did she have a surprise in store for us... he thought it would be hilarious to take us all out to the only club that we hadn't been to in town... Clips and Buckles, we'd heard rumours about that place, that it was invested and all the rugs there were filthy, eventually we found out that the rumours were true but not in the way that we had originally expected... it was a lesbian club! The rugs were filthy and the place was infested, the part that got me the most was how I recognised almost everyone in here!

We all walked out as soon as we realised but Billie stopped us as we were about to make a run for it. She convinced us to stay by saying that we were chicken, lily livered, and just plain no fun! I and the others weren't taking that! No way, then things got interesting because billie set down a bet, that she would be the first one to pull, and after a couple of shots me and another mate decided wed put a bet down for each other, just as a bit of fun really. In the end we all ended up pulling, and Billie even had a long term relationship with the girl she met there, but it was me who pulled first!

After the bet was finalised, I got to work looking for a victim! I looked round the whole bar, behind the bar and it wasn't till I got up on the dance floor that I saw her... Sophie, she was in my chemistry class, but I never even guessed that she was that way, I went over started talking and after a few drinks we hit it of so well it ended up at her house, unfortunately I didn't remember what had happened till the next morning and woke up, not only with the worst headache in the world, but with her in my arms! After I'd made myself breakfast and a LARGE cup of coffee she woke up and we sat down and ... had words about what had happened and what we were gonna do about it, of course she proposed we actually go for it and be in a relationship, and to be honest it didn't sound too bad so I went for it, but after a while it just didn't seem right so I ended it, except she wouldn't accept it and told me she was in love with me and that there's no way I'm straight, but that's the way it went and so she became my only female evil ex

So now you've heard the story

: O sludge...

Yh nudge

I just realised

Yh...

Our names rhyme!


End file.
